You

I wont give up. 

Your light is so warm, why are you doing this..?

I want you to be here... I want you to show me your smile...

The feeling i get when i see you is what turns me into who i am, who I really want to be..

I want to protect you!

I'm sure you never wanted to lose your heart...

Smiling, crying, loving someone..

The real me is just powerless, but with you here, I can change!

In order to protect someones happiness, you lost yours, you threw all of that away...

When you had such a kind heart, that was the real you..

I love you that way...

Why would you be different? Why change when someone else is around... I'm sure you never meant too hurt me..

I guess i'm used to t but you seem to care so please...

Don't hurt me anymore.. 

A hopeless cry every time i sleep alone, the twist is my sheets every nightmare that passes, the tears i shed each time i'm scared, away from you.

Dont go away... you mean far too much to me...

Far more then you will ever know.

my first memory

"In my first memory, I am 3 years old and I'm trying to kill my sister. Sometimes the recollection is so clear I can remember the itch of the pillowcase under my hand,the sharp point of her nose pressing into my palm. She didn't stand a chance against me, of cource, but it still didn't work. My father walked by, tucking in the house for the night ans saved her. He led me back to my own bed. 'That,' he told me 'never happened.'

As we got older, I didn't seem to exist, except in relation to her. I would watch her sleep across the room from me, one long shadow linking our beds, and I would count the ways. Poison, sprinkled on her cereal. A wicked undertow off the beach. Lightning striking.

In the end though, I did not kill my sister. She did it all on her own.

Or at least this is what I tell myself."