white little soul..

"The anger is red. Blood. Coming out of the unholly wound. The wound never heals. It never closes up. Always open. "Never". "Always". Two words. Two heavy suitcases. "Never" to leave them behind. "Always" carrying them. Inside. 



The anger is red. Terror is black. The little soul is pale white. An unwritten paper will suddenly fill up with words of horror. "Never" to forget these moments. "Always" held by their chains. "Always". "Never"...

The most important thing you should know about my shitty sElf...

I know how this might sound but I've been hated by plenty.
Wanted by many.
Disliked by some.
BUT.Confronted by NONE...
And neither will I be.That's just who I am.....

dialogues from the past...

Άλλαξεs

-Οι καταστάσεις με έκαναν

-Εγώ σε έκανα

-Ναι εσύ

-Λυπάμαι

-Γιατι;

-Που σε έκανα έτσι,δεν σου φέρθηκα σωστά ποτέ,δεν σε εκτίμησα όπως έπρεπε

-Δεν πειράζει

-Πειράζει,μακάρι να είχα μυαλό τότε

-Τώρα δεν γυρίζει τίποτα,έγιναν δεν αλλάζουν

-Γιατι μου μιλάς έτσι;

-Πώς δηλαδή;

-Απότομα,μέσα στην ειρωνία,σαν να μην νιώθεις τίποτα για μένα

-Ξεχνάς!

-Τι;

-Πως κι εσύ έτσι μου μιλούσες τότε,τότε που σε παρακάλαγα,είχα ρίξει τον εγωισμό μου γιατι σε αγαπούσα πιο πάνω κι απο μένα κι εσύ;δεν νοιάστηκες,δεν το σεβόσουν κ απάνταγες έτσι ακριβώς επειδή δεν ένιωσες ποτέ τίποτα!

-Με εκδικείσαι;

-Δεν έχει νόημα να το κάνω,κάνω κάτι καλύτερο

-Όπως;

-Όπως το ότι σε ξεπερνάω κάθε μέρα και περισσότερο!!!

-Είχες πει θα με αγαπάς για πάντα,αυτή είναι η αγάπη σου;

-Σ'αγαπάω απλά είχα πει από ένα σημείο και μετά πως θα αρχίσω να βάζω τον εαυτό μου πιο πάνω απο σένα.Αυτό κάνω τώρα!

-Συγνώμη,γύρνα πίσω

-ΠΟΤΕ,με άφησες άπειρες φορές και θα το κάνεις ακόμη πιο άπειρες,να προσέχεις

-Μείνε να με προσέχεις,δεν μπορώ μόνος να προσέχω

-Ε σκέψου τότε λοιπόν οτι κι εγώ τότε που με απέρριπτες μόνη ήμουν αφου δεν ειχα κανεναν να με προσεχει. ΑΝΤΙΟ.

You've changed

- The situations did it

- No I did it

- Yeah,you.

- I'm sorry.

- Why?

- Cause I made you like this,I never treated you right,I didnt apreciate you as I should

- Its ok.

- Its not ok,i wish I could turn back time.

- Now nothing can change,nothing can turn back time. Its done.

- Why are you talking to me like this?

- Who do you mean?

- Sharply, full of irony,like you feel nothing for me

- You forget!

- What?

- That thats the way you talked to me back then,when I was begging you, when I had let my ego down only cause I loved you more than myself, and you? You didnt care,you never respected that,and you talked to me like that just because you never felt anything!

- Is that your revenge on me?

- There is no point in that,I can do something better.

- Like?

- Like get over you more and more every single day.

- You had promised me you'd love me forever,is that your love?

- I love you,but there came a moment at my life that I said I'd start to put myself above all. Even you. Thats what i do now.

- I'm sorry, come back

- Never. You left me countless times,and you'll leave me more if I give you the chance to. Take care.

- Stay and take care of me, I cant do it for myself

- So think now, that back then,when you rejected me over and over again, I was alone too. But I learned to take care of myself,since I had no-one to take care of me. Goodbye.

based on a true dialogue by the author-me...

Katja Van Rooy

child abuse (this is not a story of mine...but we are all against child abuse so read it)

My name is Chris

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don't pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on!

If your against child Abuse