Great minds

This is so wrong.. I know it is, but it feels so right.. This smell, this taste. His. It makes me feel alive n healthy and... Everything i should feel..

I don't know it even came to this but i don't want it to stop. Why am i doing this? holding on to something wrecked n full of lies when this -this is halfway what anyone would dream of- and i keep on hurting me by sticking to something that feels rotten to the core.

What is it with hearts? why is it so wrong to put them in the right path? 

You've been hurt, smashed n broken into pieces n you deny the person who picks em up every time for the person who caused you all that pain over and over again. Confusion. Anger. Sadness. Acceptance. Crave to be loved. When is it gonna end. I need to figure this out.

I need to figure me out...

You

I wont give up. 

Your light is so warm, why are you doing this..?

I want you to be here... I want you to show me your smile...

The feeling i get when i see you is what turns me into who i am, who I really want to be..

I want to protect you!

I'm sure you never wanted to lose your heart...

Smiling, crying, loving someone..

The real me is just powerless, but with you here, I can change!

In order to protect someones happiness, you lost yours, you threw all of that away...

When you had such a kind heart, that was the real you..

I love you that way...

Why would you be different? Why change when someone else is around... I'm sure you never meant too hurt me..

I guess i'm used to t but you seem to care so please...

Don't hurt me anymore.. 

A hopeless cry every time i sleep alone, the twist is my sheets every nightmare that passes, the tears i shed each time i'm scared, away from you.

Dont go away... you mean far too much to me...

Far more then you will ever know.

my first memory

"In my first memory, I am 3 years old and I'm trying to kill my sister. Sometimes the recollection is so clear I can remember the itch of the pillowcase under my hand,the sharp point of her nose pressing into my palm. She didn't stand a chance against me, of cource, but it still didn't work. My father walked by, tucking in the house for the night ans saved her. He led me back to my own bed. 'That,' he told me 'never happened.'

As we got older, I didn't seem to exist, except in relation to her. I would watch her sleep across the room from me, one long shadow linking our beds, and I would count the ways. Poison, sprinkled on her cereal. A wicked undertow off the beach. Lightning striking.

In the end though, I did not kill my sister. She did it all on her own.

Or at least this is what I tell myself."

Personal

The smell of his skin was still on her... Lingering on her body still...yeah she missed him.

But not for long. Its true what they say. If you are shown love, care n affection, simply and unconditional... When you realise it it wins you over. It quite surprised her that she didn't miss him anymore... He was in the past.. a past that once seemed as the only future but how happy was she when she realised it was only a lie...Life has its own ways. You have to be in a lot of pain to learn, to appreciate when love is shown to you, given to you, without asking anything in return..

And she was gonna look back at times, that was for sure. Look back and reminisce the good times.

It was personal, from now own. She had to move on with her own life. And she wouldn't sacrifice it for anyone anymore. 

Finally, there was peace in her soul. She could look ahead and see brightness, life, beautiful moments. Bitter ones as well but that's how living is.. 

And it didn't scare her anymore. 

She was ready.

my heart

Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it is a waste of time.

There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them.

Romance is the fuel that keeps love burning hot.

We crossed paths for a reason. 

The planets align in the particular season.

 It's clear to me, that we'll eventually be inseparable. 

I love your existence, I can't get enough

I'd cheat destiny just to be near you. 

Happy to lay here,

Just happy to be here,

i'm happy to know you. 

Life is simple. We all want love, in any and every form.

You can't hide being in love. 
you wear it on your sleeve, darling.

What is it you want? What do you want? You want the moon?

Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.

Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon.

You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love and love and love you.

Make my happiness, I will make yours.

If I should die this very moment, I wouldn't fear.

For I've never known completeness like being here,

wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you.

Why live life from dream to dream?

I love you without knowing how or when or from where.

I love you straightforwardly without complexities abide.

I love you because I know no other way than this.

So close that your hand on my chest is my hand.

So close, than when you close your eyes, I fall asleep.

As for me, to love you alone, to make you happy,

to do nothing which would contradict your wishes,

this is my destiny and the meaning of my life.

In the cathedral of my heart

a candle will always be lit for you.

WHY?? 

WHY AM I NOT ENOUGH????? 

WHEN DID I STOPPED BEING ENOUGH?????

IS IT MY FAULT???

WHAT DID I DO WRONG???

DO I DESERVE THAT????

I DONT DESERVE CRYING TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT DAMNIT...

I CANT GO BACK. I DONT WANNA GO BACK.

I DONT WANNA START BEING SUICIDAL AGAIN...

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS..

OMYGOD WHY DID THIS HAPPEN..

I DONT WANNA CRY ANYMORE...BUT I DO..WHENEVER I LOOK HIM IN THE EYES AND HE JUST LOOKS AWAY.

CANT I JUST HAVE HIM BACK?? 

CANT HE JUST CARE FOR ME?

EVEN A LITTLE?

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CRYING AND FEELING MISSERABLE AND UNHAPPY AND DEPRESSED AND PRESURED...

IM JUST A WEIGHT IN HIS SHOULDERS, NOT MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. JUST A WEIGHT.

HE DOESNT CARE. HE WONT CARE ANYMORE.

IM NOTHING IN HIS EYES. AN ABSOLUTE NOTHING.

lose it

some people lose the abimity to be themselves when they have addictions

some people lose whats important to them when they know they can lose it.